Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Angel

Last night I dreamt of my mama (mums younger brother) who passed away in 2006. If you read my post "small window, big hope" you will realise the importance of Col Ravi Prinja in my life. It was an amazing dream, Mamu was looking very nice. His skin was shining, his hair and moustache was jet black. I think he had come to pick up some one. I ran to him and hugged him. As soon as I did that I started to weep. My entire being was shaking while I was sobbing in his arms. He held me tightly and allowed me to cry my heart out. Its like I finally got a chance to say good bye to him. I had been cheated off that. He and I never got to say goodbye. All I was left was with a lot of sorrow of not having told him how much I Loved him, one last time.

After that I don't remember much. But, what I do remember is waking up in the morning really really tired. Its like I hadn't slept at all and very strangely my eyes were swollen. When I woke up my better half looked a bit worried as I was not getting up and he had to leave for the Gym.

I have often believed in the power of dreams. To me its like they speak to me. Tell me things that at times I understand at times I don't. Some dreams I remember from childhood as happy dreams and some dreams haunt me as I fear they will come true. Its so mystical this ability for man to dream. Our souls journey through the unknown while the body rests. Its like we are in another universe where we can fly, jump really high, swim in deep oceans. Do things that we might think impossible. Very Freaky!!

I often dream of me dancing away. I am jumping really high and enjoying the feeling of weightlessness. Any one who knows me will tell ya that I LOVE dancing. Dancing is giving up all your inhibitions and becoming one with the music. Then its just the music and you. I love it.

Dreaming of Mamu was significant last night as I was very disturbed. My Grandma had an heart attack yesterday. One always fears losing them at this age. How much ever a brave front I had put up for the world to see, in my heart I was very afraid of losing her. I don't know why Mamu you came in my dreams after 3 years. But, I am glad you did. That hearty cry left me feeling so much better and lighter.

I feel less scared of the unknown that is on the other side of life. I know you will be there...for me...with me. Like I said in my earlier post, you and I have many life times together and I will love you in each one of them. Every time I need an Angel I will summon you.

Do we live after death? Does a soul family exist that meets lifetime after lifetime?! Or it just our fear of losing a loved one FOREVER that makes us believe that there is much more out there? Or are we just plain bad with goodbyes?? Seed for thought?

7 comments:

This is that said...

I am glad you saw Mamu..glad that you got your hug and your goodbye. He was awesome.

Small Miracle said...

Yes he was...i am glad too. Thanks

A Beautiful Dream said...

Ya Small Miracle, you are right about dancing. Dancing is a meditation, it throws out all the rubbish things from mind and relaxes our mind as well as body.
It's nice to see in dream the loved one who has left us and more than that it makes us happy when we see him/her smiling, it makes sure that s/he is happy wherever is.

I Wear It Like A Tattoo said...

This was so heartfelt, i relate so much to this. I had to quote these lyrics on this:


Sorry, I never told you, all I wanted to say.
Now it's too late to hold you. '
Cause you've flown away, so far away.

Never, Had I imagined, yeah, living without your smile.
Feelin' and knowing you hear me.
It keeps me alive. Alive!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

I never showed you,
Assumed you'd always be there.
I took your presence for granted.
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared.

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven.
Like so many friends we've lost along the way.
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Although, the sun will never shine the same, I'll
always look to a brighter day.

Lord, I know, when I lay me down to sleep,
You'll always listen, as I pray!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we've lost along the way,
And I know eventually we'll be together.
One sweet day.

Sorry, i never told you all i wanted to say

Small Miracle said...

i agree with you beautiful dream. It was very important for me to see him calm.

Tattoo boy, the song lyrics are beautiful. It could be a blog in it self. Thanks!

agent green glass said...

hugs. i hope your grandmom gets well soon. lots of love coming your way..

SePuLcHeR said...

had the other world (whether or not) been as materialist or even a fraction of this world.....um sure u wud have had all the answers!!

i believe in the power of dreams......they reflect ur innermost thoughts, or desires, or wants, or needs or anything thats buried within...even something that u mite not be aware of!!

i really hope grandma gets well soon. best wishes