Sunday, February 15, 2009

Butterflies

Now that the "V" day is over and done with, lets talk about LOVE without any pressure! Looking way back into my life I think, the first time I felt the burst of love was when I was in Shimla. My mother used to teach in this boys school called St Edwards. She was doing this play by George Bernard Shaw called "Arms and the Man". The main protagonist was "Chocolate Cream Soldier" and needless to say Anna (my mum) had chosen this prefect boy to play the role. That was my first crush if I may say so. I was all of 12 and just couldn't get it why my cheeks would go red every time Chocolate Cream Solider came and spoke with me...well, that was it. He would talk and I would go red....and from there I got addicted to love.

I think we all love the feeling of love coz of the adrenalin. In my teens it was all about the Pumping of heart, Skipped beats and Giant Butterflies in the stomach. I had my first major crush in my teens and over the years pondered if it was love. I had fun dates, those stolen glances, dance evenings...lets just say I thought he was my Chocolate cream solider. It was so innocently crazy and romantic. The girls would get together at some ones place in the night discuss all their boyfriends and crushes. "He looked and you like this and then said this"...those we such mad sweet days of longing for love...amazing days of GROWING UP. Life was about flowers, hearts, anonymous letters, blank calls and all things sweet and candyfloss!


Over the years love has taken different means and twists and turns. College taught me love for friends. I formed some serious sisterhoods and learnt all about being selfless. It was love of a different kind. But love never the less. Then there is love for our parents, brother and family. That love holds the meaning of your life together. Love of a parent is unconditional. There is love for mankind, pets, material things, colleagues... there is love for the divine where you put all your love on someone who you don't even know exists....so many layers to love....


MBA was the time when I had my adult love with a man. It was about the loving, lusting, sharing, caring, giving and wanting. I spent every waking minute with my man. We couldn't get enough of each other. It was unbelievable how much we had to talk about. Years later when we got married, we were busy chatting during the wedding ceremony and his grandma asked me "Aren't you done talking yet?". With him I became a woman and I hope to grow old with him.


Over the years love has changed it meaning. Some times its joy, some times its pain. At times its patience, at times it impatience. Some days its bitter...some days its sweet. Some days it tests you and there are days you test it. Then on days you have had enough and there are days when it leaves you wanting for more. There are days when it is as black as black can be but then there are days when it pumps blood Red Love into your veins. Every time I have learnt a new shade of Love I have resisted, as at times foolishly, I still want it to be about Giant Butterflies.

I don't know if Love will ever be about skipped beats again but what I do know is that I have seen many shades of Love. Those Giant butterflies might not be in my stomach but I see them everyday. All these shades have confirmed one thing to me...when you give out love you get it back in return many folds! I am so addicted to Love!

I often think Of Robert Frost's "The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.” Isn't love all about the promises??!!


We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love - Anonymous. Seed for thought?!!

4 comments:

Chow said...

So true! I remember the time when love or life was all about “..flowers, hearts, anonymous letters, blank calls and all things sweet and candyfloss”!Hahaha...we have come a long way since then.
Yea, love has a very different meaning now…and it feels more grounded and very real. Love is not only about keeping promises, I think it is also about forgiving those who break them. It is about accepting all the flaws and all the imperfections and still loving and wanting.
Good one Neha...I read all your blog enteries and loved them.

Small Miracle said...

Thanks chow! Keep reading..shd be a fun ride! ; )

I Wear It Like A Tattoo said...

" Those Giant butterflies might not be in my stomach but I see them everyday."

how heartfelt of u to have dedicated an entire post to LOVE...this was so touching, the way u took love through its stages...and the ways it molds itself as u grow older while still remaining the essence behind what we live for. And you know me im totally sold over the concept of love..so this is an adorable post!!!

:)

Love actually part 2 script idea is right here!!!

Can i audition pls?

Small Miracle said...

Thanks!!! Love makes the world go round, now doesn't it?!! Every day is about love...and sharing it with all the various people in our lives.