Last night there was a celebration. Last night 30 of us got together to celebrate MY life. I think it needs celebrating, wouldn't you agree? So much has been done and achieved. Looking back it seems that life has thrown every possible flower and thorn my way. I like all, have loved the flowers and learnt very grudgingly from the thorns. But, in all I have lived to celebrate life. I have almost always been thankful for what I have, grateful for lords abundance and amazed with the wonder of life.Last night reminded me that I can't lose my prospective on life. I need all those Friends in my life, playing different roles. I am sad the closest of them could not be there ( devjani and roohie I missed ya)..but I do know that THEY are the ones who have made my life a bigger celebration. They are the ones who remind me that I can't bring in my birthday the way I did last year. Last year I was in bed, unwell...mourning my life. I didn't know why I was sick, nor did the doctors. I didn't take any ones call. All i did was sit in bed at my parents home. If I wanted to be with anyone then, it was them. No flowers..no cards...no gifts. It was just me and my sickness. No one but Racho came to meet me.She came over to meet me in the afternoon and was surprised to see me not take my phone calls. The phone was ringing off the hook...and I didn't want to let my friends love into my life at that point. I was so focused on the sickness that I forgot to celebrate life. Soon after that day I got scheduled in for a surgery.
My surgery was first thing in the morning. I was calm as hell. Chatted with the nurses and surgeon. As I lay down on the cold metal bed while I was being wheeled in my mind was numb. No fear. No stress. No feelings. Nothing. I wasn't even upset that my better half couldn't make it time to see me off to the surgery. Then anesthesia took over my senses, all my mind was thinking was that I didn't celebrate my life. I didn't celebrate my birthday. What if I don't get another chance? While slipping under all I wanted was another chance to celebrate my life...next I woke up shivering violently and the nurse rushing to cover me with blankets. That woke me for good from the strange stupor I had been in days, mourning my life. Not only did I wake up from the anesthesia, I seem to have WOKEN up in life!
Why are birthdays so important?? I am NOT one one those women who hate birthday and aging. Yes I do admit I dislike my "adult acne" that I started sprouting since past few years. They are despicable! Apart from them aging has been most certainly been an amazing life journey. Every line, every open pore tells a story..and now it seems every pimple is tellin its story! : )
Being a peoples person, my Joy is being around them. I am so happy that last night 30 of them were there to celebrate my bday with me. It was a mad mad party with AMAZIN jello shots. All in all it was great to be surrounded with people who love and care for me. I am so blessed to have them.
I hope next time when life offers me a rose with a thorn attached, I can get over it and enjoy the beauty of the rose. I don't want to only look at the thorn like I did last year...This year I want to reach out and touch the rose, feel it velvety petals. I will not worry too much about the thorns. I will be mesmerised by the rose.
This year I celebrate my life.
Why do we become so obsessed with the hurt, the bleeding, the tears that we don't even notice all the joys, the flowers, the music that life hands us side by side! Are we sucker for pain?! Is it much more addictive than joy can be? Seed for thought??
6 comments:
this was so heart wrenching!
may every bday of yours be as special as yesterday :)
Hey you madness, that was a nice post, thank you for mentioning me, it's been yrs we havent all been at a party together..but you know what..you have come a long way from that surgery and that metal bed. You should celebrate, because you deserve it. And you matter, and you have a zillion reasons to celebrate. And you will keep finding a zillion more. Because thats the kind of spirited person you are. Happy Bday.
Thanks Varun. You made is really special with all the AMAZIN music and jello shots. You are such a lovin kid : )
Roogie, i love ya. you know that...right?! i celebrate all my joys with you...and always will. Hugs!!
Ahem....what to say...i remeber now that i called you that day and spoke too to you.....u sounded off and then nikhil took over the phone..... he didn't tell me anything....but i spoke to you that day...albiet briefly....among all those missed calls and no calls. This is wishing you that Happy Birthday again....
is baar toh main tha........and i will be, evertime.....u just arrange some good food nad i will be there with my music....i started preparing allready...i don't like my thunder to be stolen....like this time...i was the official D.J. NOBODY DANCED THIS TIME....at least while i was there. Make as much fun of my dancing, it is and has always been part any culture's festivity....are we getting old, or is it passe to dance or was it that i didn't start it this time......hey let us not grown up..at least stop that clock of growing old, behaving like adults when we get together and PARTY. Guzra hua zaman kabhi wapas nahin ayega.
Itni chhoti si jaan ki surgery....i hope u are ok now.....khush raho
sateek, thanks for writin a mini blog on miine! ; ( hahahhha
I knew that you were not well last year, but Surgery?? There is so much that I pick up from what you write..I wish celebration... every moment for you.
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