Last night reminded me that I can't lose my prospective on life. I need all those Friends in my life, playing different roles. I am sad the closest of them could not be there ( devjani and roohie I missed ya)..but I do know that THEY are the ones who have made my life a bigger celebration. They are the ones who remind me that I can't bring in my birthday the way I did last year. Last year I was in bed, unwell...mourning my life. I didn't know why I was sick, nor did the doctors. I didn't take any ones call. All i did was sit in bed at my parents home. If I wanted to be with anyone then, it was them. No flowers..no cards...no gifts. It was just me and my sickness. No one but Racho came to meet me.She came over to meet me in the afternoon and was surprised to see me not take my phone calls. The phone was ringing off the hook...and I didn't want to let my friends love into my life at that point. I was so focused on the sickness that I forgot to celebrate life. Soon after that day I got scheduled in for a surgery.
My surgery was first thing in the morning. I was calm as hell. Chatted with the nurses and surgeon. As I lay down on the cold metal bed while I was being wheeled in my mind was numb. No fear. No stress. No feelings. Nothing. I wasn't even upset that my better half couldn't make it time to see me off to the surgery. Then anesthesia took over my senses, all my mind was thinking was that I didn't celebrate my life. I didn't celebrate my birthday. What if I don't get another chance? While slipping under all I wanted was another chance to celebrate my life...next I woke up shivering violently and the nurse rushing to cover me with blankets. That woke me for good from the strange stupor I had been in days, mourning my life. Not only did I wake up from the anesthesia, I seem to have WOKEN up in life!
Why are birthdays so important?? I am NOT one one those women who hate birthday and aging. Yes I do admit I dislike my "adult acne" that I started sprouting since past few years. They are despicable! Apart from them aging has been most certainly been an amazing life journey. Every line, every open pore tells a story..and now it seems every pimple is tellin its story! : )
Being a peoples person, my Joy is being around them. I am so happy that last night 30 of them were there to celebrate my bday with me. It was a mad mad party with AMAZIN jello shots. All in all it was great to be surrounded with people who love and care for me. I am so blessed to have them.
I hope next time when life offers me a rose with a thorn attached, I can get over it and enjoy the beauty of the rose. I don't want to only look at the thorn like I did last year...This year I want to reach out and touch the rose, feel it velvety petals. I will not worry too much about the thorns. I will be mesmerised by the rose.
This year I celebrate my life.
Why do we become so obsessed with the hurt, the bleeding, the tears that we don't even notice all the joys, the flowers, the music that life hands us side by side! Are we sucker for pain?! Is it much more addictive than joy can be? Seed for thought??