Sunday, July 25, 2010
There are often times we are a projection of what we are expected to be. In the projection we start to believe who we want to be and maybe not who we really are. The moment of truth is when you hear what people who matter think of you. Sometimes its like they are talking about a different person...this is not me, how often have we said that to our selves??
D always told me from childhood that I was very difficult to deal with when I sulk. I want to wallow in my own cocoon of emotions. The more she tried to make me feel better the worse I felt. I just can't snap out of it. Do people snap out of funk just like that?? Is that true and if it is then why am I not able to do that??
That is just how I am. Once I snap out of it I am fine and normal, as expected by society. I just always feel like I am not given my time with the dark side...why can't I just be dark for a while?? More than you its me who doesn't like to go to the dark side. I know that when I do I will be told what a sulky poo I can be. I don't scream and shout, abuse, throw crockery, get into mad rage fits. I wish I did that, but I don't. All I do is retreat into my being till I am OK to face the world.
Mostly I like what I see of my self through some one else eyes and then there are times I just don't like it at all. Is it important to be nice and bubbly all the time? A Seed for Thought for the ones like me who are constantly searching the ways of being a better person and finding the path bumpy.