Saturday, July 24, 2010
This is what I do. I pretend on bad days that I will be fine. I pretend that the loneliness is not unbearable and soon I am less lonely. As I am not thinking of it constantly, its not a thought in my mind. The more I pretend to be OK...the better I get.
I realise it now that the more I give into my FEELING...more lost I get. Suddenly I find my self in a maze of emotions and can't seem to find my way out at all. Before you know it I am engulfed in my FEELINGS so damn much that I forget every one else's feelings. Its like you are sucked deep inside your head and heart...the more you think about the more you slip deeper and deeper in filth of slimy emotions...all negative thoughts start caving into me. Soon I can't breathe, the only escape is tears...streams of tears that I can't stop.
Then my logical mind is battling with my absolutely illogical emotions. The battles rages on and on...and like like any battle field once its over...all you see are debris of OTHER peoples emotions along with mine. Clearly in the battle other people's emotions have got slayed. The more people try to help the worse they get hurt...
So I say pretend. At least that ways you are only cleaning up the mess of your emotions and not other peoples who matter to you.
As a wise person once said "Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.”
When your emotions mess with you, one should mess back by pretending its not happening. Take the power away from the damn emotions, confuse them, trick them. A Seed for a Thought for the ones who get led by the damn emotions like me.