Friday, January 23, 2009

Illumination

Gayatri Mantra has been a big part of my life is the past many years. This is the foremost mantra in Hinduism that inspires wisdom.
Its meaning is "May the almighty God illuminate our intellect to lead us along the righteous path."

I have found great solace and peace in this mantra. Nearly all evening I go back home and put on the Gayatri mantra on the deck and listen to it while I sit on my enchanted terrace. The sun is setting, birds are cruzing in for the last feed of the day, my fish are swimming about peacefully hoping for some food to come their way. Its pure bliss!!

It is here that I have often sat and tried to seek answers to life and things that happen to me. There are days when one is peaceful and thankful and then there are days when one questions life meaning and experiences. A lot of why me, why now, why him, why why...all of that happens right here on my terrace with the Gayatri mantra chants in the air.

I still remember in my younger days I used to absolutely hate coming back home. I had all excuses of not entering my house till late in the evenings. I was so happy with friends and boyfriends. They were so much fun and exciting. Although I had very loving and supportive parents at home waiting for me, I had all the excuses not to go back home. A few years back I got married and all I could think of was to rush back home. To my house, my space, my place. But, No one was waiting for me there. My better half works late. Period. I almost always have come back to an empty house with no loving family looking forward to my return end of the day. Ironic isn't it?!

Slowly the emptiness started eating into me. In spite of so many friends I started becoming desperately lonely. My house was eating me alive...slowly snuffing the life out of me. It is then nearly 5 years back I found the Divine Gayatri Mantra. Our family Soothsayer introduced me to it and its deep meaning. He could see the signs and realised that its was time for the Divine to illuminate me.

Now nearly half a decade later, I sit peacefully on my terrace garden, ALONE but NOT lonely. I soak in the mantra and feel it self reveal to me in a new way every single day. I do believe it has delivered me to wisdom. I have a great connection to this mantra. Today I realise why this is considered on of the highest and the most powerful mantras of all.

Now I find quiet strength in solitude. I am not scared of facing me, alone. I appreciate the duality of life, the yin and the yang. The very social me has respect and (more importantly) acceptance of the lone me.

I realise that Heaven, Earth and Hell are all here, together. I can't let the euphoria of Heaven lead me down the path of unrequited love of material happiness, the reality of Earth has grounded me and brought out the nurturer in me and the experiences of Hell have made me less fearful of the things to come.

We need to appreciate and understand the brilliance of our being. When in doubt turn to the Divine and not get lost in the million by lanes of life. Seed for thought?!!

10 comments:

I Wear It Like A Tattoo said...

"ALONE but NOT lonely"

something the best among us havent been able to master..its particularly inspiring when someone says they rise in solitude...

similar to u till abt a few mths ago i used to detest going back home for some reason and now its become almost necessary for me to sleep on my own bed and to touch base with my most personal space (my room)

my aunt really believes in the power of the gayatri mantra, its peace inducing literally...she always tells me to chant it before sleeping and that sleep wont be such an uphill climb anymore

she is right! and so r u

keep inspiring!

SePuLcHeR said...

it delivered u to wisdom :)
rightfully and beautifully put.

small miracle said...

Thanks guys. I am thankful that u guys give me 5 minutes of the day to read my blog! : )

Mandeo said...

when v r born who do v come to this planet with ?- nobody...
who do v go with wen v die?- nobody
there is a silent strength in lonliness .. that of a new life and that of the last minutes of life..
the day v accept that, the words "alone and lonliness" do not exist as a scare , they turn into positives.. wat say ??

small miracle said...

Hmmm...Wise and Very well put! I think most of us are so scared of being alone and lonely that we land up making very bad choices in life. I find this topic very complicated and difficult...

I Wear It Like A Tattoo said...

Some people associate loneliness and being alone with failure to an extent...as if to say that they couldnt end up with a companion and its their failure or the companion left u or whatever it is and that u are not capable of having a companion...it becomes a regret thing..so i can understand when some people find loneliness unbearable..because it is associated with guilt of some sort. Which is something one needs to get rid of, there is NO guilt in accepting that 'what the hell, im alone, im jus gonna enjoy it'

however its truly the way u approach it..if u tell urself that LONELINESS is NOT the same thing as being alone u realize that being alone can be enjoyed..can be a tread through self discovery and other things that u achieve in complete isolation...

Im trying to find solace in solitude now..i dont think that iam alone at this point of my life because of my past failures in relationships..iam alone because iam learning about myself and because iam training myself to be self dependent.

Your opinions on this subject are so poignantly brave that it inspires u to read over and over and start embracing solitude...cuz there's life and joy in it

:)

small miracle said...

i agree V. Life is so confusing and muddled at times. Yes i have found peace in solitude...but it was a VERY TOUGH journey getting there. You know how i love people...so accepting my reality was a bitter pill. Thanks to the Gayatri mantra i managed to remain sane and my quest for spiritual growth was magnified. I hope one day we all reach a place where are happy being with our own self...and not be scared of the unknown!

small miracle said...
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small miracle said...
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I Wear It Like A Tattoo said...

u have to see ANGELS IN AMERICA
this thing u just said
'dont be scared of the unknownj'

u just have to see it

burns it on dvd****