Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Things are happening. I can feel the winds of change blowing, fast and furious. I don't know what I am doing or will it be OK. All I KNOW is that I am doing this for something has snapped. Somethings you can't undo. Somethings are are not meant to be undone. They happen to push you into another zone. A zone that you would have never chosen ordinarily, but then I am not ordinary.
Extra ordinary things happen to extra ordinary people. Maybe that is why I was not supposed to have it the ordinary way. I wish I was ordinary. I wish I was that woman that could just give and give, not snap at all. But I have snapped, at first it felt like I had snapped into two pieces. Broken into two. It was so tough to make sense of it all...why me...why me...why me...that's all I could ask God. I don't deserve this I said.
The one day I got the answer from the man above, WHY NOT YOU, he said?! Why expect the ordinary when you are so extra ordinary?!! Why makes you think others deserve this but you will lead an ordinary privileged life?! Yes, my master I said, for the first time I will not fight my fate. For this is how it was meant to be. I shall love and will not allow hate to seep in. For 15 years of precious loving has great and profound meaning.
I will not lose the meaning of loving, giving, hoping and changing. I will not fear ordinary emotions like fear. Fear freezes you to the ground. You are immobilised with the feeling. You don't move, you don't breathe, you don't live, for fear has cut you off your knees. I have been on my knees for a while now, time I got up and felt my feet. Time I put my feet on the ground and ran barefoot...feel the grass blades on the soles of my feet. Its time I ensure that BOTH you and I LIVED an Extra ordinary life... We share extra ordinary love that nothing will fade nor charr or burn away. Its time we cast away the fear we fear! Why fear loss when the only thing we have gained is LOVE..