:)

There is an old saying that "You can't shake hands with a clenched fist". For a heartwarming friendship you need to open your self...your heart to let people in.

I am so thankful for the friends I have had and the friends who have walked into my life in the past year. Its like a wave of people entering my life. Good, happy people who are comfortable being themselves. They celebrate their lives in every possible way. I am so glad they encourage me to celebrate mine.

Most of these people are in my life because of M today and I am most thankful to my beau for that. You are amazing M for shaking hands with me with the largest open handed handshake.

Some time saying less is more. So all I have to say today is " :)"

Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance, is that a truth I might learn? A Seed for thought for the ones like me who over the years have started giving the number of years far more importance.

Turn Turn Turn

“Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart, and bids it break.” William Shakespeare

My life has taken a turn...a turn that I don't at times have the intelligence or foresight to comprehend.

I didn't think I would be here...its so so so much better. No more feeling unwanted...unloved. I seem to have got life back into me. I am living again.

Yet there is sadness...years back I had ticked that box of a life partner.  I would never be alone again. I am back at that same point...and this time there is no box to tick. Yes, I know I know a lot of you out there say that there is hope...and who knows tomorrow. Yadi yadi ya. Its not that. Its just that the goal post have changed.

I will never be that beautiful young girl again... you have no idea how gorgeous I looked at my wedding. Looking back I can say that I have never looked that beautiful as I did that day. No, been there and done that. Its time to now look at life in another way. Achieve other life goals.

I found my ex cheating on me for the 100th time in Goa and that is where it was over for good. While I caught him in the act, right next to us were sitting this couple, Childhood friend of my ex. His wife was having trouble conceiving and I could totally understand how she felt as I was going through the same. Well, anyways I bumped into her yesterday with her 6 month old son. How time has flown...here she is with a baby that all but  a conversation a few years back and me, well, I have made peace with the fact (with much mental turmoil I admit) that I will never have that chance in my life.

So much one goes through...and yet there is so much life still left to live. All I know that during the festival time I feel a bit sad. I hope one day I will be over it, stop feeling sorry for my self. I hope one day when Karva chauth is round the corner I am strong enough to stay and face it and not run away.

I hope one day I understand how beautifully life tuned for me.

A Seed for thought for those who like me can't understand why they are sad when there is so much to be thankful for.